The only weekly tech news show that boris johnson hasn’t tried to insert his penis inside and yeah i’m, fully aware that that intro makes absolutely bugger all sense, but who really gives it at least half of the people who clicked on this video have realized. They made a dreadful mistake by now and already buggered off, to watch some mk bhd instead and to anyone who happens to be guiding that mouse cursor towards the back button. Right now just told your horses for a second, i guarantee you we’ve, got at least 20 to 30 seconds of content that doesn’t suck too hard coming up, so maybe could be possibly worth your while. Potentially you might not 100 regret. It is what i’m trying to say, unless that is you really don’t like words like womble and jizz, biscuits and looks love it if you don’t, like fruity language like that and yeah, you might well be better off with that mkbhd fella uh jingle expert weekly. So the big launch this week came courtesy of xiaomi, who are frankly like an out of control, fire, jizz and fresh produce over a what seem to be thrilled audience seriously. There were so many new phones and other gadgety bits that it took them two bloody days to launch it all. It was like the cricket match of tech events and just like qriket matches. I spent the whole time neck and special brew. As far as phones go.
We saw the mighty mi 11 ultra finely unveiled boston, dual displays and upgraded camera tech compared with the standard, milf and flagship. The snapdragon 888 power and tri factor coolant system should make gentian impact even more smooth than my baldy buns, while that 5000 milliamp battery supports 67 watt wired and wireless charging, you’ve got a flippin huge 6.81 inch, 120hz amoled screen supporting hdr, 10 plus and dolby vision. Content and that’s joined on the rsn by a dinky one inch panel, which can be used as an always on display and help you take sexy selfies with that 50 meg primary camera, a 48 megapixel ultra wide angle lens and a 48 megapixel telephoto shooter with five Times, optical 10 times higher than 120 times, maxed out zoom complete the camera setup and now i’ve got to go to the toilet, really rather urgently because jesus christ – and you can expect xiaomi’s – me 11 – ultra to be hit in the uk sometime this month april. Although we don’t know the asking price just yet and although xiaomi smartphones tend to be good value, you can bet you’re asked that this is going to cost the best part of a liver and a kidney and probably an arse. Now, after all that hot tech action, the audience was about ready to jizz themselves into a permanent coma so to calm things down a little bit. Xiaomi also launched a couple of budget friendly smartphones, one of which i’ve had a bit of a funnel with here on textbook.
The good old xiaomi me 11 lite. This very, very incredibly immensely shiny blower allows you to stare at your haggard time ward, features and ponder the ceaseless ice cold stream of time that seems to flow ever faster while you gradually sink under the surface lips turn to the sky, desperately sucking at the rancid Air before you disappear into the depths and where the goddamn is that bourbon goddam here in the uk, you’ll be able to grab the meat 11 lite 5g, which comes in a minty, green or bright, yellow color, as well as your box standard black it’s super light. At a shade over 150 grams, but it packs in some great tech, including that fresh five nanometer snapdragon 780 g chipset, a 6.55 inch 90 hertz amoled screen supporting hdr, 10 plus and 10 bit colors and a triple lens rear camera borna time the mi 11 light 5G is essentially the exact same handset as the standard m11 light, but with that upgraded chipset bring in 5g smarts for a nice price, i’ll say a nice price. Xiaomi hasn’t actually revealed what that price will be yet um, but hopefully it won’t be too much at all, just guessing on that front, of course, but it’s coming out in april here in the uk. If you want one so there you go and if you want to check out my me 11, like coverage, full unboxing and tour is live right now. My review will be coming next week so as opposed to the phone stuff, although there’s also the foldy one that’s.
Only been released in china, the me mix fold and that one’s a 6.52 incher that expands into an 8 inch behemoth on demand, which i know for a fact. Your mum really loves. This bendy blighter packs premium specs, just like that. Mi 11 ultra. But this time with a 108 megapixel primary shooter, boosted by xiaomi’s new surge, c1 isp and a clever liquid lens, which can act as a telephoto or a macro, camera it’s, all very shiny and sexy, and also only coming out in china so i’m. Very sad. That i’ll, probably never ever get the chance to fondle one and that’s, not even close to everything that xiaomi launched at this two day extravaganza. They also announced, for instance, a new smart band uh. There was a new smart projector, oh, and they also announced that they were going to stop pumping out electric cars soon as well, because why the not anyway, moving on from xiaomi, so this doesn’t just become the xiaomi show uh this week b or bang olufsen also Launched the snazzy new beoplay portal gaming hat – oh great somebody’s, just decided to start cutting a hedge right outside my window, thanks guys seriously where’s that bourbon, oh okay, they’ve, either finished or they’ve just stopped to take a tea break or something so i’m. Gon na try and smash through as much of the rest of this as possible. So where was i the uh, the beoplayer portal gaming headset for xbox, which is one of the only gaming headsets that won’t light up your bonds like a discor? While you get owned online by 12 year old school dodgers, you got some serious wireless audio tech packed in there for the 449 quid asking price, including lossless, audio enc, and a bit of dolby atmos support and microsoft.
Also spaffed out its fresh new 11th gen rocket lake processes as well to rather unimpressed early reviews, but no real time to dive into that or any other tech news. Now, because it is unfortunately time for the part of the show that would make a buddhist monk go on a wild chainsaw rampage, much like a whole bunch of page trimmer appearing suddenly outside of your window, while you’re trying to shoot a video it’s fewer comments, fewer Comments first up this week, raphael laura says that was the best video he’s ever seen, uh about last week’s, textbook weekly, you, my friend, have clearly never watched any porn. There was this great one last week where these two uh uh never mind anyway, and raphael continues. Uh my favorite bald tech man um. You definitely meant ball there right didn’t, you 100. Certainly bold, not bold. Most assuredly, not bald, definitely bald. So many nice comments from last week seriously. Thank you to everyone who left a lovely uh little bit of uh chatter. In the comments last week make space for uncles but gosh it does and not in a trouserial way. Surprises master g said water channel, encouraging sexual innuendo, bad manners and alcohol abuse. Keep it up. Mate up is most definitely where i will keep it. Sir uh cheers master g. I know as well who uh ran a very awesome clubhouse session uh, my one and only clubhouse session, that i’ve uh i’ve attended so far.
You must need to jump on that and check out what’s going on again. Uh says: congratulations on half a million subs, so many spartans, no one is more deserving. Christopher uh cheers. No. I still love how you’re the only person who calls me christopher. Besides my mum when she’s pissed off at me, uh divas, the wolf, says anime girls. A now i see how we test those fun displays, uh, indubitably, yep they’ve got to be bright, they’ve got to be sharp and they’ve got to be splash proof. Oh great now they’ve got a leaf blower to blow around all the they’ve already trimmed off the hedge. With the god goddamn noisy hedge trimmers, all right and the leaf blower is down, and now he’s got a broom. A nice quiet implement excellent let’s crack on uh, so next up eddie says loving it chris more rude innuendos than an episode of rainbow classic uh. You must be the modern day bungle i mean i wish me. I mean that had hair or fur at least, although of course he did also have to live with an annoying, yellow, yappy and a suspect hippo who let’s face. It was almost certainly a secret serial killer, don’t, be fooled by the pink fluffy exterior it’s, all about the cold dead, black eyes i’m, not forgetting, of course, the grown ass man, whose best friends on earth were three anthropomorphic. I do kind of wonder what happened to jeffrey but i’m, really scared to google him because let’s face it he’s, probably either dead or a project you treat special, although actually, what i really want to know is whatever happened to jane and is she still sleeping in The same bed as rod and freddie those lucky anyway kind of got off in a random dungeon.
There apologies uh next comment: melissa, says i’m 26. But do you want to be my father next up diamond says? I do be boiling in qatar getting ready for the 50 degrees centigrade summers. I mean sweet teddy christ that is insane it’s, just it’s, just not not right man, i mean i remember, being in las vegas in the summer when it was like 44 45 degrees, and i was basically a puddle as soon as i left the hotel. Like i’m, a northerner i’m used to four degree weather, not bloody 44., so yeah there was that entire holiday was literally just a race to get from one air conditioned venue to the next. Basically – and i mean it probably doesn’t help. Unlike a sensible person, i wasn’t carrying a bottle of water with me. I was carrying a footlong. Rum cocktail seemed like a really good idea at the time. Next up giovanni, says i’m watching from puerto rico, very cool love your reviews, especially because there’s, nothing, you haven’t reviewed um thanks man, though that’s not quite true, uh there’s, for instance, uh this bad boy right here, unicorn universe, the premium magazine for unicorn fanciers. You can do a bit of a unicorn yoga um. I don’t know what this guy’s doing. Oh here’s, some some fun here you can roll the dice to discover what your secret magical unicorn power is right. Here we go it’s a three and three is friendship. My superpower is friendship, so when bloodsucking parasitic aliens come down to earth to enslave us all, i’ll just go up to them and say: hey guys, chill out.
Let’S be friends, and here come the lawn mowers. Of course the dude. I was just wondering how long would be before we get a good bit of lawnmower action. It’S all right, maybe i’ll just go out there and make friends with them, although i’d rather blast them with laser vision or something that’ll be better that’s a bit quiz action. What will you study at unicorn academy, let’s check this out dance party or pizza party uh man that’s a really tough choice. I mean why does that have to be one or the other? Why can’t we have like a proper pizza, rave, sprinkles or sparkles holy unicorn universe? You are asking the tough questions now. Okay, so apparently, my expert subject is fairy finding uh your outdoorsy and love adventure. Only people who are in touch with nature can find fairies but you’re a natural excellent. Anyway. There you have it that’s, unicorn universe. I give it four sparkly horns out of five good stuff and yeah. I think that, basically, is everything on earth reviewed and next up. Birch tree says: greetings from the canadian west coast where we have no snow. Unlike our eastern brawls, oh son, throwing some shade now bit of east west rivalry got ta admit. I do not know the west coast of canada at all, i’ve been to vancouver once or twice actually uh, but both times it was for one day as a pit stop when i was flying back from hawaii for the qualcomm conference and both times.
Of course, i only had shorts and t shirts on me hawaii gear, not exactly proper garb for vancouver in december, though got ta, say nothing. A proper beer jacket, won’t sort out, of course, uh next up simon, says, is that how you always sit in front of the computer with a hat and a beer uh, i mean i’ll, be honest mate. Sometimes the party hat is the only thing: i’m wearing and we’ve got an actual tech question here as well. Brace yourself, everyone that’s from wallmate oil, again, hello, buddy, hope, you’re, keeping well uh. He says i’m, currently using the oneplus 7 pro and the android 11 update. Just my battery life, so is there a mid range phone that gives a similar software experience to the oneplus phone while having a great display, okay, specs and a good enough camera? Well, the oneplus phones have a mostly stock android vibe with oxygen os uh. Just a few little extra bits like the gaming mode and stuff thrown on there um. So if you want that sort of stock, android familiar feeling again, then potentially the pixel fourier or the fourier 5g, depending on how good your budget is and we’ve got another one. As well, john paul graham says, can you recommend a fantastic camera phone that is easy to use with good battery life, ip rated and a budget of around seven to eight hundred quid um? Well again, like the pixel five uh flagship phone will take most of those boxes.
Ip rated it’s got a great easy to use camera literally just point and shoot and you’ll get good, looking photos pretty much any time of day. Uh respectable battery life and the budget is actually less than that um. I still feel a bit like a google shell here. Okay, a few i think, that’s the end of the tech questions uh for now, michael says that he spied the 2000 d mug last episode and he says: okay, chris rogue, trooper or judge dredd, which one would win in a fight. Uh i mean jesus, i mean. Surely that’s already happened right i get the feeling that judge dredd’s rogue trooper crossover thing has already happened like they like their crossovers and if there’s a bit of rogue judge dread crossover. Then why the russy heck not because i’m, pretty sure they’ve already done. Like judge dredd versus batman, i think it was one judge dredd versus the aliens out of aliens potentially judge dredd versus mrs brown’s boys, now that’s. What i would like to see that’s the crossover of the century blast of things set to incendiary burn. As for who would win, uh judge, dredd and rogue trooper, i mean that is too close to call dude. I prefer rogue trooper’s kit he’s got some pretty awesome, freaking gear of the little microchips of his dead, buddies, embedded inside and everything. But yeah i mean that that is a close one. I think they’d probably just be mates and then they just go around kicking the other everything else, because that’s fair to judge dredd and rogue trooper together, who’s gon na stop that and after that little geeky comic book aside again just wanted to say a massive.
Thank you to everyone who commented last week, so many lovely, charming heartwarming comments. You really are the bestest band of buggers. There ever was apologies to anyone. Who’S commented i didn’t get a chance to read out, but please do slap your comments down below try and burn through as many of those as possible. Next week and i’m sure there’s lots more tech shenanigans going on next week, some of it uh that’s, still embargoed uh there’s gon na be a couple more pre, breeze, big nokia launch on thursday, the 8th so stay tuned for some potentially hands on action. There.