Dr. Mufti Abdur Rahman ibn Yusuf Mangera (Founder: Whitethread Institute and Zamzam Academy)
In fact, mawlana anas, who runs these groups, may allah bless him. May allah bless you all as well, especially during this month, there’s. A very short message right, which is that if you want a successful marriage for the sake of successful children, remember when you have children when you get married and have children, you are starting a whole new generation right, a whole new lineage. That will go all the way until the day of judgment as soon as you have children and then when they grow up and they are married that’s it you know, you’re going to have children and they’re going to have children and then your grandchildren, and so on. You are going to be the father or mother of all of this right. These are not your brother’s children. These are not anybody else. These are yours and that’s. Why? You have a responsibility now the way to gain success in in having the right children so that they will be, and the gladness of our eyes for that, both in this world and in the hereafter, and we have to take this as a responsibility, is to plan. Well ahead, and that is by making dua well in advance. So this dua, that i’m going to suggest to you today is verse 74 of suratul furqan, which is our lord grant us from our spouses, those that will our spouses and our progenies, so our children, grandchildren and our progeny until day of judgment.
Those that will be a source of gladness for our eyes, so the husband can read this for the wife or for wives. The wife can read this for the husband and you read this for the benefit of your children, that of them – and this is done by the believers – this is a dua of a believers or a believer. Their gladness of their eye is that they’re going to see their children successful and their families successful in terms of iman as well right so that’s. Why? This is a very important have said that this is actually a magical dua, in the sense that if you’ve got a problem with your spouse, something bothers you about them right, maybe they he keeps his socks lying around in different places. That keeps bothering you about it. So what you, if you read this door, either that habit of his will go or it will just stop bothering you right, you won’t, get irritated by it right and likewise, if you don’t like the way she does something, then allah, subhana, wa tala, will remove that Problem or he will become insignificant in your eyes and that’s. The beautiful part of this dua it’s, a quranic very powerful and it’s the ibadur rahman’s dua, the servants of allah it’s, their dua that’s, what they make and then the last part is really interesting. It says make us the imams of the righteous people now this isn’t, something that allah is telling just leaders to read that make us imams of the righteous he’s telling all servants of allah to read this, which basically means my understanding of this and i hope it’s Right is that if parents are reading this right and they’re, making dua initially for their spouses and their zuriya, their children and then they’re saying make us imams of the righteous.
It means you’re actually asking for a righteous progeny right because you’re the imam of that righteous right, because every father is an imam every mother’s animal of her family. You know of those who are under her are under him, so that’s why you become the imam of righteous ones, so that’s the first dua. So you should read this even before you get married. The second thing that you need to prepare for, as i said, this preparation needs to happen early on, is to get married to the right person. Don’T get married to somebody, and i know you’ve probably been told so many times, don’t get married to somebody just for. Like one point, oh, she looks wonderful. Oh, he is very rich or he’s. So handsome, like look at his haircut, look at his muscles. That is not what you get married to somebody you don’t get married to their beauty right. You it’s like saying that this phone is sleek. It looks wonderful, but performance, wise, it’s, messed up. Why would you buy that phone they’ve got a car that you know has a certain feature in there right that it can um. I don’t know it can go from zero to you, know 60 in so many seconds, but it’s, not reliable right or you can’t find mechanics for it. Why would you do that? Why don’t you look at something overall that takes many many boxes so that you can get a package deal.
These are two of the fundamental advices and the third advice i would throw in there is contemplate to yourself what is it that will spoil a marriage? What is it in me that will spoil a marriage? Let me sort that part out. Am i stingy? Am i very emotional? Am i very angry person sort those things out? These are three basic advices. I think to make a successful marriage. It starts much earlier and that’s why you need to find the right spouse. Then you can have the right children and you constantly make the duas to allah. So i would suggest you really make this dua to allah and may allah facilitate for you and allah facilitate your needs and allah facilitate all of our needs. Just to finally mention that you’re, probably aware inshallah, i wrote a book just over one and a half years ago called the handbook of a healthy muslim marriage so alhamdulillah. This is the book that i wrote i might as well mention it to you, because i wrote it to benefit people so since you guys are all in the nikah game here in the in the marriage game alhamdulillah, the book has done well, i mean you know: People have found a lot of benefit in the book i’m, not just praising the book for no reason. But this is just from feedback and martial as many couples who actually have read it together as well. And if you’ve not read a book on marriage and not taken a course on marriage, i would suggest you need to take a course on marriage or read a book on marriage and i think, that’s very, very important and uh, even if you’re already married insha’allah.
This book is not just for non married people, it’s actually for married people it’s all the way it discusses everything up to divorce. Unfortunately, divorce is a reality for a lot of people, so they need to know how to do it, so they don’t do it in the wrong way. So inshallah um, you know you can read this book inshaallah and may allah bless these groups and grant you happiness and success uh in what you’re looking for insha allah and may allah bless, malna anderson and any any other members of the team.